Questions In The Dark

Questions in the Dark

“Why?” I ask, with cold hard breath

Would You allow the taste of death

To touch this flesh I’ve made Your Own

Did death not die at Heaven’s Throne?

“Why?” My God Whose mercies great..

Once healed the blind and sealed our fate

With Your Own blood, You promised me

That I would live…that my eyes would see

“How?” as I sit in rags and dress my head

With heaps of ashes formed from my dread

Of tasting hell’s fury upon my skin

Will I ever know of Life again?

“How?” can the anger that now burns my cheeks

Betray this heart that for You so seeks

To find even one ray in my stone cold sky

That may ignite with hope my heart to try…

Again to believe in what You say

That My Potter can still form this desperate clay

In to a vessel of Your Great Light

To shine Your hope in my heart of night

Oh child, come rest upon this shore

Of My Living waters and breathe once more

Lest you forget our days of old

When I danced with you on streets of gold

Or how I took your hand in Mine

As We dined on Truth and Heavenly Wine

Or when you prayed to know Me more

As My tears of joy fell to the floor

With your heart so sure, but child I knew

How this day of doubt would hearken you

In to My Arms of rest sweet one

Where all doubt fades in to The Son

Where death is bound beneath My Feet

Where Life and Love do not compete

Where “why” and “how” take on new depth

As you breath in The Wonder of heavenly breath

Though pain and fear may cloud your heart

Know that My Presence will never depart

And as you press through a dark, doubtful sea

Know you are pressing in to Me

And producing an offering of Life Devine

That can only be born on a Heavenly Vine

And as it streams up from your heart of pain

It will shower the earth with heavenly rain…

And drench hates cold, hard ground of stone

With The Perfect Love of heaven’s throne

Oh Child, don’t let your troubled heart,

Keep you from your eternal part

In sharing in True Life Devine

As in holiness I make you wholly Mine!

For though you have your questions now

One day you’ll touch a thorn pierced Brow

And in that moment when all is known

There will be rejoicing over how you shone

Introducing darkness to His Precious Light

You gave your offering that others might…

Look for a ray in a stone cold sky

As they search for answers to their question, “Why?”

And see His Hope shining in your heart

As they come to Him to take their part…

In to His great plan for us all to see

His Perfect Grace and Majesty

So when the backdrop of night draws near

Don’t fall away with earthly fear…

For darkness is never defeated more

Than when we throw ourselves at Heaven’s Door

And release ourselves to the Truth made known

That all you need is in Him Alone!

The Chance

I wrote this poem early the morning after my cousin's funeral, he had taken his life after struggling with depression for years. I had just had a dream about him when I heard these word stir in my heart. I hope this is a blessing to you if you have lost someone who never seemed to make the most of the chance they had with their life. I also hope it encourages those of us who may not realize that we still have the chance of a lifetime each day we wake up in God's perfect grace.

The Chance

When I got to heaven

I was surprised to see

Jesus with outstretched arms

Waiting there for me

“How can I deserve this?”

I kept thinking to myself

For I had given up,

Laid my chance up on a shelf

Through tearful eyes I struggled

To look into His face

To search for unknown answers

“How could I deserve such grace?”

Jesus seemed to know my heart

His eyes were tearful too

“My son, could you not see-

I have always been here for you.”

Each trial I sent down to you

Had a purpose in your life

I gave you a chance to see,

To make darkness in to light

I did not leave your side, not once

Even when you did leave me

I never stopped sending down chances,

I so wanted you to see!

My love for you is endless

My grace would have been enough

To help you through life’s biggest storms

When the waters seemed too rough

Jesus then took my hand

To show me something new

“Look down upon the world my son,

See the plans I had for you”

I saw so clearly every time,

God’s wisdom had taken place

How each person struggled to find

A chance to win the race

I so badly wanted to scream down to them

And tell them to look above

All that they were searching for,

Was found in the wonder of our Father’s love

My heart broke each time I watched

As they turned away

And cursed God our Father

And wasted another day

What I would have given

For one more chance to help them see

To show them just how simple

An abundant life can be

How different it would be for me now

If only I had known

How God uses each one of us

To make us all His own

Unworthiness and regret

Now overtake my heart

For I had given up my chance

To make a brand new start

What I wanted now

More then anything I had ever known

Was a crown to lay at His feet

To thank Him for the love and grace He has shown

And to hear those words spoken

When we have done it right

“Well done my good and faithful servant-

Come now and rest in the light”

My crown is not yet worthy

To lay before His feet

I wasted so many chances

My crown soo incomplete

Even in my fear and shame

God’s love and grace shone through,

“Come with me my precious child,

I have one more chance for you”

Reach down and touch the others

With all the love that’s in your heart

Show them that it is not too late

To create a brand new start

Let your life be a testament

Of how even in despair

I will still reach down to hold you

And show you I am there

For even in the darkest heart

There still exists some light

For is it not were darkness prevails

That light can shine most bright?

Let my life now stand as a testimony

All I have left to give

Take the chance to love God our Father

And truly learn to live!

The Waters Edge

“During those many days the king of Egypt died, and the people of Israel groaned because of their slavery and cried out for help. Their cry for rescue from slavery came up to God and God heard their groaning, and God remembered His covenant with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob. God saw the people of Israel- and God knew” Exodus 2:23-25

“That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we looked upon and have touched with our hands, concerning the word of life-the LIFE was made manifest, and we have seen it, and testify to it and proclaim to you the eternal Life, which was with the Father and was made manifest to us…” 1 John 1&2

“What am I here for?”, “Why do You keep me enslaved to these thoughts?”, “Where are You taking me Father?”

These questions once again provoke the ever constant wrestling match between my mind and my spirit. Desperate for resolution, I make my way towards a desolate place near the water in hopes that I might find His voice there… the Voice that always tends to ignore my questions yet never ceases to answer my soul. I make my way to the waters edge as my tears betray me and I finally surrender my own frustration to Him. Experience has taught me that this is what He wants. His weightless beauty invades my soul as I press all my “self” out to make room for Him. With eyes closed and heart hungry I wait for His voice to invade me. Suddenly the rushing waters take on new depth as our sacred exchange finds me. “What do you seek to hear My child?” , “Father, I am lost again and I want someone to show me The Way.” “My child, why do you continue to seek The Living among the dead?” “Look back my beloved, what do you remember about Me?” My body trembles with my own sudden awareness that I am naked before Him, no longer able to hide the shame of my own unbelief. “ Father, I remember that You told me everything I ever did.” “I remember how the weight lifted, the thirst dissipated…how like a butterfly newly emerged from her cocoon, I left my shame and fear next to my water jar and flew away with You.”

“Beloved, look around you, what do you see?” Heavenly hands cup my chin as my eyes fall on the water. As if the water itself is speaking, uncovering for me the glories hidden from human discernment, I am suddenly aware of my hearts ability to “see”.

“I see Christ My LORD, My Wellspring of Life, alive and beautiful, with no beginning nor end.” “I see The Tree My King, planted by rivers of living water…reaching out over the water, declaring Your canopy of love.” “The water is moving, it is brimming with life…the constant flow clearing the debris so that what was once hidden can now be revealed.” An invisible Hand takes mine and I am led away to another body of water..this one much smaller, the water is stagnant and murky…there is no movement or life in it. It’s very existence seems in constant threat as the Sun’s angry rays scorch it’s dry and depleting banks.

“Father, that body of water is me…my King…how small and desolate I become when I allow my current of “self” to move me away from Your grace filled waters.” My eyes now fall on my feet as Christ unveils a new realization to my soul. “Child, what do you know?”

I close my eyes and try to grasp heavenly words to describe a “knowing” that can never be explained with skin on. The rocks beneath my feet cry out with an unmistakable calling and I am washed anew with awareness of my own journey. My journey is not one of words or thoughts….nor is it one of works or knowledge. It is a journey of choice. I stand with solid Rock beneath my feet and two bodies of water on either side. One body leads to birth, life, abundance and eternal reward….the other leads back to Egypt…to slavery, death, isolation and confinement. Love paid a price for each step that I take…it is up to me to discern the direction.

My eyes set on My Christ, My Living Water once more just in time to see the gleaming, silver, twisting body a bass jumping in the weightless joy of His waters. “I love it here!” is what he seemed to be calling out to me.

“Beloved Jesus…I agree, I love it here too.”

Moment by Moment

Sitting here just now in tears

You make it all fall in to place

I can see it all so clearly now

Moment by Mont, Grace by Grace

All my frustrated, angry tears

The confusing twists and turns

All my so-called wasted years

When Your will was all I yearned

And here We are right here, right now

I hear Your Voice so loud

My love was all You’ve ever sought

Your one call in me finally found

So often severely misunderstood

Whose love is it again?

I did my best to do it all

To make everyone my friend

Only to fall in exhaustion and fear

Once more at Holy feet

Where all fears fall on to heaven’s floor

Where Love’s definition becomes complete

How could I not see it then

My restless heart so blind

Your Presence has always been here for me

Only veiled by my own mind

This mind, a constant battlefield

Where I all too often fail to see

That this battle was already won

That I already breathe eternity

I see it now, all taking place

The battle’s victory

And how Love’s Banner dances in the Wind

Christ’s Light for all to see

“Love” has always been Your battle cry to us

To Love each as our own

And when we finally get it right

Your eternal purpose will to all be known

And then everyone and everywhere

All tribes and tongues will see

Your Bride shining with Your Light

Pure Love and Majesty

Her garment knit by threads of love

Until each one perfectly sewn

Moment by moment, grace by grace

You made us each Your own

Your gift of love given back to You

Finally returned complete

Never again to be veiled by doubt

By flesh’s struggles to compete

Oh Christ, this moment may we all draw near

To grasp what You have done

Moment by Moment, Grace by Grace

Our lives You’ve already won

The Flavor of Heaven

“You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people’s feet” Matthew 5:13

“Then He took unto Him the twelve and said, “See, we are going to Jerusalem.” Luke 18:31….

Salt…

*Is the most highly consumed mineral in the earth

*All salt comes from the sea (either old deposits or current)

*In Christ’s time, it was a mark of social status…”she is worth her weight in salt”

*Romans gave soldiers their allowance in salt

*Salt represented value, also truth…”Take it with a grain of salt”

*It was their only way of preserving perishable food items

*Salt was much more potent back then and was mixed with saline and other minerals that the salt could seep out through and leave a useless residue.

Salt is Salt…. we use it everyday and it is in almost everything we eat. However, we seldom sit and ponder about it.

This is what we are in Christ, whether we know it or not, people are consuming Him through us. Sometimes it is in big ways, sometimes in small ways.

Every place you go, ever person you meet represents Christ giving you an opportunity to let the world “Taste” the flavor of heaven…something that is distinctive and makes such a difference.

Salt Preserves. When we come to Christ, the fullness of Who He is comes in to our hearts. We then become preservers of TRUTH. He gave us an absolute that we must then preserve in this world where there is no truth. If you are in Christ, WHEN YOU WALK IN TO THE DOOR, TRUTH ARRIVES!

WE are either salt or we are not, you can taste when a food does not have salt in it. Even a little salt makes a big difference. IF we are not SALT…. WE ARE USELESS AND THROW OURSELVES IN THE GROUND FOR THE ENEMY TO TRAMPLE ON!

When the Israelites left Egypt (captivity) there were over 2,000,000, but only 2 made it in to the Promised Land.

Only 2 took what God had done and held on to it for dear life and never forgot that God is GOD! Only 2 PRESERVED Who God was to them and lived lives that corresponded to that belief.

Only 2…..Became Life Preservers for all the rest….

The SALT of Christ can only come from Christ, not from us. We cannot DO Saltiness…we must SIMPLY BE!!!

Can you imagine Salt water saying, ”I am going to act salty today”? NO…THAT IS RIDICUOUS BECAUSE IT ALREADY IS SALTY!!!!

We SIMPLY MUST BE WHO CHRIST HAS CREATED US TO BE….BE SALTY…BE HIS!!!!

IT IS UP TO US AS TO WHETHER WE WILL BE SALTY OR LOSE THE TASTE.

Salt and Light are more defined by their absence than by their presence. Darkness is loss of Light.

Bland is lack of SALT. WE GET TO BE THE ILLUMINATORS AND FLAVOR OF HEAVEN HERE ON EARTH!!!!

The good news is that we will never run out of SALT when we keep our eyes on Jesus! It comes from Him, not us. When HE went to the Jerusalem, He knew that He was about to entrust Himself in to our hands.

Can you imagine that? God of the universe saying, “OK, I am giving you the fullness of Who I am to give to the World, I trust that you will know what to do with it”

He entrusted Himself in to our hands so that we might have the chance to entrust ourselves in to His HANDS, to be wiling to say, “I NEED YOU JESUS, Will YOU COME HELP ME LIVE FOR YOU!”

He gave us a giant SALT SHAKER when He died for us. FOR SALT THAT IS CONTAINED CAN NOT FLAVOR ANYTHING, But HE POURED IT ALL OUT FOR US AND SAID….”Here, GO GIVE THIS WORLD SOME FLAVOR…THE FLAVOR OF GOD!”

The Joy of Being Caught

“He who is bowed down shall speedily be released…” Isaiah 51:14

“And I have put My words in your mouth and covered you in the shadow of My Hand, establishing the heavens and laying the foundations of the earth and saying to Zion, “You are My people” ‘ Isaiah 51:16

Come tread the carnal places Lord

Etched upon my soul

Turn the tables over my King

Fill in every hole

Come tear down all the walls I’ve built

Leave no stone unturned

Till up all the fallow ground

‘Till Your Truth is all I yearn

Then plunge Your Holy Hands in me

Till every piece is torn apart

And all that there is left of me

Is the fertile soil of a new heart

Then tread over me once more My King

Crush me under Holy Feet

Till all that there ever was of me

Is Holy obsolete

Then come plant You’re garden here

In what is left of me

That precious fruit may nourish souls

And change eternity

And if a weed called “self” should sneak

In to this garden You adore

Till up the fallow ground again

Tread over me once more

Crush me under Holy feet

Till there’s no more me

Or until my feet tread Holy Soil

For all eternity

Fishing With Jesus

Come cast in to the deep dear one

Set your fear aside

Come sit beside Me here sweet child

In Me, you’ve nothing to hide

I know the water is deep dear child

And you can’t see what lurks below

Your pleading eyes say it all

“Please don’t make me go”

Take My hand my beloved Bride

Let Me calm your restless heart

Come stand inside this boat with Me

Together, we will make a brand new start

You see, My precious little One

When you cast in to the sea

What your priceless heart is doing

Is casting in to Me!

In My heart, there waits for you

A treasure I long to give

So come my sweet priceless Bride

Come, so that you may live!

And breathe a brand new breath of Life

Like you have never known

I’ll give you My breathe dear one’

For you to call your own

Come climb on unknown mountains

And tame the restless sea

I’ll watch you grow in to everything

I created you to be

So take My hand and come with Me

As we cast in to the Deep

In exchange for your faith in Me

I’ll give you my Net to Keep

You’ll climb unknown mountains

You’ll tame a restless sea

You’ll lose yourself in this adventure

And be fully found in Me!